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Penned this letter for you some time back but now I only wish that you’re at peace wherever you are. Lots of speculation after the incident on why did you do it? But I guess the speculations were to make us feel better. Nicholas asks do I feel guilty? Jane and Li-Ping says it’s not your fault. How could it not be? I felt guilty why I did not realise something was wrong, felt guilty for changing the dinner venue, felt guilty cause I could be nicer to you, felt guilty because I should have call you that night, felt guilty to your family. The sense of guilt was crushing me until I accepted the "maybe reason"

Your teacher was telling me about the world is a miserable place but I told him that this world is a great place to be in. There are sorrows but at the same time there is happiness and there are families and friends for us. I did some chanting for you yesterday, not sure if it’s of any good to you but at least your mom felt happier. Yesterday your mom asks me to be her god-daughter, she says she lost a son and hopes to have a daughter. I can easily say yes but I hold back. Don’t know why? Should I?

I can never understand wakes, people laughing and joking around. Such a sad occasion yet "happy" atmosphere. I think it’s because everyone are trying to control. I tried to but you know I’m the sort who put emotions on my face. I will never be a good politician because of that.

Somehow your absence magnified your presences (Sound bewildered right) I have to manage that because there are plenty of others I care about. To all my friends out there, this is to let you know I’m OK, really! I know you care, I know you’re worried but just give me some time to move on. It’s so much easier for me than for his family.

To : My dear friend

Why? There are so many whys? You know, regardless of why you did it I hope you’re free and happy now. Sorrows will have to be bore by the living. Need to write down the memories of you because memories will fail us with time.

Things you like

Guava, nice food, your car, chinese history, bananas, wu shu, yuan yang (drink),coffee, your teacher, your job, xin yao, your friends and your family

Thing you hate

Can’t think of any.. See how little do i know you.

Places we been to

Marina

square - your favourite place in

singapore

apparently

Jurong - for duck noodles

Bakerzin - for spag

Imm - ramen and select a present for my friends new born

Orchard - I cannot remember why

Ginza

- for great jap food

Geylang - for bean curd

NUS - for mid autumn festival

Movies we watch

Click

Death note

Plans you made

You wanted to vist your brother and try roast duck in

Hong Kong

You wanted to climb MT kinabalu with me

You wanted to buy a new car

You wanted to finish your Business Degree

You wanted to go

Japan

for sushi

You wanted to visit china for "Bing Ma Yong"

You wanted to write a love blog

Guess you’re not to going to complete them now

Questions that I have yet to reply

You: Do you like the necklace?

Me: Yes I love it

You: What is your score?

Me: full marks

You: Do I have high standards?

Me: No, my previous relationship was a nightmare thus I’m cautious for a new one.

Dates that will not happen

To watch 007 movie

Porridge buffet

Korea

food

Reunion

dinner with your wushu team

Tuesday on my way to your house, I just realise what a long journey it is from my place to yours? Why did you not give yourself and family another chance. Why don’t you share your problems? What are friends for? Am I the last person you contacted? Why did you not call me? Why must you run away from us? Why do you chose to be a corward? I hate you for doing this to us.  At the same time I can’t help but pray for you. Guess you can’t hear it now.

Rgds

Cindy