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Just last week, I was informed that my friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at stage 3 / 4 . This friend of mine, we know each other for 6 years, became close friends during the last 3 years.

For friends who are not aware on the stages of breast cancer, please see attached.

Copied from http://www.cancerstory.com/servlets/hp_treatment_stage.jsp#breast

Stage I breast cancer: Cancer that is no bigger than 2 centimeters (about 1 inch) and has not spread outside the breast.

Stage II breast cancer: Stage II breast cancer means one of the following: cancer is no larger than 2 centimeters but has spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit (the axillary lymph nodes); cancer is between 2 and 5 centimeters (from 1 to 2 inches) and may have spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit; cancer is larger than 5 centimeters (larger than 2 inches) but has not spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit.

Stage III breast cancer: Stage III is divided into stages IIIA and IIIB. In stage IIIA breast cancer, the cancer (1) is smaller than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit, which have grown into each other or into other structures and are attached to them; or (2) is larger than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit. In stage IIIB breast cancer, the cancer (1) has spread to tissues near the breast (skin, chest wall, including the ribs and the muscles in the chest); or (2) has spread to lymph nodes inside the chest wall along the breast bone.

Stage IIIA breast cancer: Stage IIIA breast cancer is defined by either of the following: (1) the cancer is smaller than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes under the arm, which have grown into each other or into other structures and are attached to them; (2) the cancer is larger than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes under the arm. stage IIIB breast cancer: Stage IIIB breast cancer is defined by either of the following: (1) the cancer has spread to tissues near the breast (skin, chest wall, including the ribs and the muscles in the chest); (2) the cancer has spread to lymph nodes inside the chest wall along the breast bone.

Stage IV breast cancer: Cancer has spread to other organs of the body, most often the bones, lungs, liver, or brain; or tumor has spread locally to the skin and lymph nodes inside the neck, near the collarbone.

Apparently it is only during the later stage then it can be diagnosed. It was hard for me to handle as bits of information was flow to me, At one point, people are telling me that the most is 3 years for her to survive and that is after chemo. This friend of mine has just lost her mother (also due to cancer) less that 1 month ago. Her mom was a fighter, whenever I visit her, she will smile and say thanks but I could see the grief and pain in her eyes. It was a tough 2 years and finally she succumbed to the illness.

I was crying pretty hard when I got the news? Why her? she is too young? But who is ever old enough to be dianognesd with cancer? She was telling me not to be sad for her. Told me about the kids undergoing chemo therapy at the hospital. Saying how fortunate she was compared to the kids there. My friends are trying to do all sort of stuff for her. Like compiling book for her, cooking for her, wants to go chemo with her.

I don’t know what i can do, or that I refuse to do anything till all is calm. I think everyone is trying to do something now, friends, famlies must be doing something. Why is it that these things are not done prior to the news? Reflecting to myself, is there someone that i should treat better, Have I not done all I can for all my friends? I find myself guilty, not only for friends but also for my familiy, although we do a lot of things together but somehow i feel that i should be spending more time with them. Have more patience, do more housework and take care of my body for them

My friend is very positive so we have to strong for her too. She will be going for chemo end of the month but she is not going to do it alone because she has friends and family with her. It is not the end but the start of another long winding road.

Sometimes I pounder assume someone is to tell you that you have only 3 more years to live on a best scenario. What will you do? I think I might just strangle the person first. But then again, it is not so frightening anymore once you know. I still find it tough to handle but I’ve improved, experience and time will make someone grow. Regardless of good and bad we too have to take it in our stride.

Have faith

Cindy

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 at 7:02 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.