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Just last week, I was informed that my friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at stage 3 / 4 . This friend of mine, we know each other for 6 years, became close friends during the last 3 years.

For friends who are not aware on the stages of breast cancer, please see attached.

Copied from http://www.cancerstory.com/servlets/hp_treatment_stage.jsp#breast

Stage I breast cancer: Cancer that is no bigger than 2 centimeters (about 1 inch) and has not spread outside the breast.

Stage II breast cancer: Stage II breast cancer means one of the following: cancer is no larger than 2 centimeters but has spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit (the axillary lymph nodes); cancer is between 2 and 5 centimeters (from 1 to 2 inches) and may have spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit; cancer is larger than 5 centimeters (larger than 2 inches) but has not spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit.

Stage III breast cancer: Stage III is divided into stages IIIA and IIIB. In stage IIIA breast cancer, the cancer (1) is smaller than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit, which have grown into each other or into other structures and are attached to them; or (2) is larger than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes in the armpit. In stage IIIB breast cancer, the cancer (1) has spread to tissues near the breast (skin, chest wall, including the ribs and the muscles in the chest); or (2) has spread to lymph nodes inside the chest wall along the breast bone.

Stage IIIA breast cancer: Stage IIIA breast cancer is defined by either of the following: (1) the cancer is smaller than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes under the arm, which have grown into each other or into other structures and are attached to them; (2) the cancer is larger than 5 centimeters and has spread to the lymph nodes under the arm. stage IIIB breast cancer: Stage IIIB breast cancer is defined by either of the following: (1) the cancer has spread to tissues near the breast (skin, chest wall, including the ribs and the muscles in the chest); (2) the cancer has spread to lymph nodes inside the chest wall along the breast bone.

Stage IV breast cancer: Cancer has spread to other organs of the body, most often the bones, lungs, liver, or brain; or tumor has spread locally to the skin and lymph nodes inside the neck, near the collarbone.

Apparently it is only during the later stage then it can be diagnosed. It was hard for me to handle as bits of information was flow to me, At one point, people are telling me that the most is 3 years for her to survive and that is after chemo. This friend of mine has just lost her mother (also due to cancer) less that 1 month ago. Her mom was a fighter, whenever I visit her, she will smile and say thanks but I could see the grief and pain in her eyes. It was a tough 2 years and finally she succumbed to the illness.

I was crying pretty hard when I got the news? Why her? she is too young? But who is ever old enough to be dianognesd with cancer? She was telling me not to be sad for her. Told me about the kids undergoing chemo therapy at the hospital. Saying how fortunate she was compared to the kids there. My friends are trying to do all sort of stuff for her. Like compiling book for her, cooking for her, wants to go chemo with her.

I don’t know what i can do, or that I refuse to do anything till all is calm. I think everyone is trying to do something now, friends, famlies must be doing something. Why is it that these things are not done prior to the news? Reflecting to myself, is there someone that i should treat better, Have I not done all I can for all my friends? I find myself guilty, not only for friends but also for my familiy, although we do a lot of things together but somehow i feel that i should be spending more time with them. Have more patience, do more housework and take care of my body for them

My friend is very positive so we have to strong for her too. She will be going for chemo end of the month but she is not going to do it alone because she has friends and family with her. It is not the end but the start of another long winding road.

Sometimes I pounder assume someone is to tell you that you have only 3 more years to live on a best scenario. What will you do? I think I might just strangle the person first. But then again, it is not so frightening anymore once you know. I still find it tough to handle but I’ve improved, experience and time will make someone grow. Regardless of good and bad we too have to take it in our stride.

Have faith

Cindy

It’s has been a long time since I updated my blog. Had a pleasant rest recently due to change of work. YUP Finally I left Hp and join a new company :) 
After spending the couple of days resting and more resting during my new job, I found that there are plenty of things that I want to do. Certain targets has been push back since couple of years back.

List of things that I want to do

1. View Aurora Borealis (Northern lights),
Technically they are aused by the Earth’s magnetic rays. Eg some of these rays enter the Earth’s atmosphere, they can cause rainbow colours, ribbon-like lights to appear in the skies.
But to me : There are magical lights that makes people feel like falling in love.

Target : Before 30

2. Obtain a Master
Was rejected again by NTU, 2nd rejection, Sad but that it means I’m given more time to take up some other courses. Think Accounting / Programming.

Target : By 35

3. Backpacking in Nepal
Wanted to visit Negal after my friends show me pictures after her trip. It seems like the simple, quiet place with great people. Of course the recent unrest makes me sad.

Target : By 28

4. White christmas.
I love christmas carols, and they are often about snow, reindeer and santa claus. I promise myself a white christmas some time back but always some reason will pop up the problem is that I’m very scared of cold.  Of course lah, I’m always day dreaming I will be there with someone who will protect me from the cold. Most prob watch too much korean show. Guess I have to bring my hot water bottle instead!! 

Target : By 27

5. Diving trip
After having my diving license did not manage to go for another trip. Hopefully I can go for 1 trip this year. Wanted to go for Redang but guess it’s kind of difficult. Tiomen is a better options.

Target : By Aug’06

6. Getting a Driving license
Yes finally after complaining for so long of the "ceiling high" driving lesson. I will be learning how to drive. But it will in secret, who knows maybe I will take 5 yrs to get it :) 

Target : By 30

7. Visit Turkey
yup the land of belly dancers. A totally different culture and FOOD

Target by 30

8. Learning a new sport
Newest fab - roller blading in East Coast. Every time I wanted to go for a lesson. God will want to water the flowers that day!

Target : By 26

9. Give more to the society
Participate in more volunteer work

Target : Immediate

10. Concentrate on my piano practise.
Lazy me always forget to practise. Since I’m free now, I should practise more frequently.

Target : Always

11. Catch up with friends
I have friends who been with me through the tough and good times in my life. Always felt lucky to have friends who supported me no matter what I do. Some friends will always make the effort to invite all of us out. It’s not easy really when all of us are commited to other stuff. But thanks, now my turn to make that effort too

Target : NOW

Now and then I will have more things on the board : ) I hope I can accomplish the list on top but then maybe year after year I will push back the target dates. But for now, I have a list of items to work on. Happy living !!

Cindy